Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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