I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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