I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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