Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
You're like the curious george of whores
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I supernannyed him into submission
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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