dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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