I puked a lego.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
i drank out of a bidet.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
