My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
