Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
