he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
