Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
