THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Even my vagina gasped.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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