Christians are straight up FREAKS
After last night, I could never be a politician.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
