Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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