fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
