so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I think I sprained my soul last night
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
