it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I lost the right to judge tonight
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
