im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Houston, we have a blender
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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