go do what you do best...puke behind churches
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
