hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
