matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Randomize
