yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
