she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
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