It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
