go do what you do best...puke behind churches
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
