ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
