Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Randomize
