My room smells like vodka and shame
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
