I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
there is puke in my bra ... again
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
