how can u be prego again
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
