I'm drive I can fine osifer
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Randomize
