I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
