She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
