I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
