and i looked up. we had an audience...
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
