Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Randomize
