Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Randomize
