wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize