Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
