And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I need to align my fucking chakras
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