i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Randomize
