you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
