i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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