he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
