I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
