Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
