i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
