I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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