You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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