is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I'm both gender and math confused
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
