Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize