you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Randomize
