Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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