the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
