i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Randomize