I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
This baby is an asshole
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Randomize
