PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Randomize
