She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
