I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
We are all done wearing pants today
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
