420 ftw
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
