once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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