guys are only as good as the porn they watch
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
