He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
