Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
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