so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize