The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
My cat gives me a boner
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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