so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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