dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Randomize