matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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