i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
