I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
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